Whisk(e)y
musings, news & notes
Wednesday April 9, 2008 | Glen Karlovitch
A weekly
collection of select whisky news and our
personal rants. You won’t find any
industry profit/lose nonsense here;
we’ll let other sites cover that
THRILLING subject.
Next week we’ll be in Scotland so the
next posting will be on the 23rd.
WHISK(E)Y DILEMMAS
(vol. 4)
Brett
Calish
Champions of
Breakfast
I remember, as a schoolboy, learning
about Orson Welles’ radio broadcast of
“The War of the Worlds”. As it was
taught to us, the program had a
disclaimer at the beginning, but that
was it – people who missed the first few
minutes of the broadcast really thought
that we were being invaded by Martians.
My teacher, all those years ago,
suggested that a few disclaimers
sprinkled throughout the rest of the
broadcast might have helped to quell
some of the hysterical response. Now, to
quote H. L. Mencken, “No one ever went
broke underestimating the intelligence
of the American public,” so I’m not so
sure if the periodic disclaimers would
have worked, but since this vignette
occurred under the auspices of the
(minor key) American Educational System,
it was only important to spit back this
“knowledge” onto our test papers. But I
digress…
The pertinent lesson here is that this
article comes with a disclaimer, which
will be repeated periodically, namely:
Disclaimer: DON’T BE STUPID! This
article is not intended to be taken
seriously. Pretend it doesn’t exist… go
on with your life. End of disclaimer.
So anyway…Once upon a time, I went away
to college. You know the place. It’s
where they take teenagers who think they
know everything, remove their training
wheels, and let Darwin do the rest. It’s
also the first time kids are really out
from under the yoke. Which would explain
my fondness for corn flakes and beer.
Milk being both perishable and far less
versatile than beer, this combo seemed
to make perfect sense. Tastes good, too.
And though some (most) people viewed the
start to my day with “skepticism”, let
me assure you that I didn’t go to school
with saints – the problem with my
occasional sodden corn flakes had
nothing to do with how they looked,
tasted, or that I used “3.2 piss beer”.
The problem was the time of day I had
the beer! Alcohol was almost mandatory
in the evening, possibly OK at midday,
but verboten in the morning. Why? Well,
this is my dilemma. Why is it perfectly
fine to have a drink at night, but
you’re looked at as a chronic and
persistent inebriate if you touch the
stuff in the morning (unless you’re a
lady with a big hat and it’s Sunday, in
which case you may have one, and only
one, mimosa). Don’t you think it should
be alright to have an invigorating start
to your morning before you head off to
work? Maybe a nice Ardbeg or Lagavulin
to get you out the door.
Disclaimer: DON’T BE STUPID! This
article is not intended to be taken
seriously. Pretend it doesn’t exist… go
on with your life. End of disclaimer.
A couple of weeks ago, I went out to
lunch with my wife. We went to a nice
place a couple of towns over; a martini
bar/restaurant modeled after a basement
speakeasy – very upscale, very yuppie,
but very pleasant. The kids were in
school, and we had a few hours until we
had to get them, so when the waitress
asked if we wanted to start off with
something to drink, the first words that
came to mind were, “Whaddya got?” But
before I could ask that, or what
whiskies she had (quite a few if I
recall, having been there before, for
DINNER), I stopped. All I could think
was, “I have to pick my kids up soon.
The school will KNOW! They’ll know that
I had a drink this afternoon
(afternoon!); they’ll call ‘child
services’; they’ll take my kids!” Well,
maybe I wasn’t thinking that
neurotically. But the point was, I
thought about the “impropriety” of
having a whisk(e)y in the afternoon, and
instead my wife and I each had a glass
of wine. It’s nuts! Shouldn’t I be able
to have a few drams before heading over
to my kids’ preschool to pick-up the
little urchins?
Disclaimer: DON’T BE STUPID! This
article is not intended to be taken
seriously. Pretend it doesn’t exist… go
on with your life. End of disclaimer.
My point, and I do have one, is this: If
you’re going to drink, it shouldn’t
matter what time of day it is. It is, or
should be, perfectly acceptable to enjoy
an alcoholic beverage at any time. The
problem is not with the drink, nor the
hour, but with the Puritanical morality
permeating American society. As with
everything in America, it’s not your
fault; it’s Society’s fault. We,
brothers and sisters, are merely
victims. So I’m suggesting that we fight
back! Take back what’s rightfully yours!
Reverse your polarity. Put that lager in
your cornflakes, and relax with a
restorative glass of orange juice for
your nightcap. Enjoy a mid-morning
bourbon or single malt, and then kick
back with your friends that night over
root beers and finger sandwiches.
Whatever. Mimosas for everyone (big hat
or not)! Mint juleps year-round! Bring
back the six-martini lunch (oh wait,
that’s another story). Damn the
torpedoes! It’s scrambled eggs and
whiskey for everyone!
Just don’t forget the breath mints.
Disclaimer: DON’T BE STUPID! This
article is not intended to be taken
seriously. Pretend it doesn’t exist… go
on with your life. End of disclaimer.
Johnnie Walker
- Scotch
News from the Johnnie Walker Striding
Man Society
The luxury of a Johnnie Walker(R) event.
The comfort of your home.
Ready to share your Scotch expertise?
Host an unforgettable whisky tasting in
your home. Johnnie Walker(R)
supplies you with everything you need to
create a professional-looking
event. And our Master of Scotch will
arrive to personally lead you and
your group through a private tasting.
This event is not yet available to the
public. But as a Striding Man
Society(TM) member, you have the
opportunity to be among the first to
order.
See how you can get a private tasting
for your friends.
Watch an introduction from our Master of
Scotch
Please Drink Responsibly
The makers of Johnnie Walker(R) Blended
Scotch Whisky and The Century
Council support responsible
decision-making.
Johnnie Walker, 530 5th Avenue, New
York, NY 10036
(C)2008 Imported by Diageo, Norwalk, CT
If you’re a fan of Johnnie Walker and
not a member make sure you join the
Striding Man Society. You can get
personalized labels and Johnnie Walker
event information.
www.johnniewalker.com
Scotch -
Springbank
Springbank Whisky
School 2008 Academic Year
The School
Springbank Distillery
Established in 1828, this venerable
institution remains under the direct
control of its founding family.
Tradition and history are the watchwords
of this renowned distillery, situated in
Campbeltown, the one time Whisky Capital
of the World. Springbank is the only
distillery in Scotland to carry out 100%
of the production process, from malting
to bottling, on site. Where better to
learn the craft of single malt whisky
making?
Teaching Staff
Frank McHardy, Director of Production
With 44 years in the whisky business,
Frank is emminently qualified for his
position of Rector and Course co-ordinator
of the Springbank Whisky School. He will
mentor students during their academic
career at Springbank. Previous
appointments include; Invergordon,
Tamnavulin, Bruichladdich and Bushmills
Distilleries.
Stuart Robertson, Distillery Manager
Leading tutorials on the malting and
production process Stuart will be
drawing on 17 years experience in both
large and small scale production. Before
coming to Springbank Stuart worked for
Diageo at Roseisle maltings and Linkwood,
Cragganmore, Glen Elgin, Glen Spey,
Inchgower, Auchroisk and Strathmill
distilleries.
Ranald Watson, Tasting Room Manager
Ranald will guide students through a
tutored tasting of the range of products
produced at Springbank Distillery and
can also be called upon to provide
information about the extracurricular
activities Campbeltown has to offer.
Curriculum
Practical Work Experience
Under the expert supervision of our
production operatives, you will work in
each part of the distillery gaining
valuable experience and knowledge from
working alongside the full time
distillery staff in the following areas;
Malting Mashing/ Distilling Filling/
Warehousing Bottling Theory Classes
Tutorial 1 - Malting Comprising; Barley
varieties, peating, floor malting,
germination, phenols, kilning, barley
and malted barley storage and a brief
look at mechanical alternatives to floor
malting. Tutorial 2 - Production
Comprising; Milling and mashing, water
temperatures, draff, types of fermenters,
yeast types and fermentation, the three
different distillation methods at
Springbank, types of condensers, still
shapes, methods of heating stills, pot
ale and spent lees, middle cut and new
spirit nosing. Tutorial 3 - Tasting This
Tutored tasting will guide you through
the range of single malts produced at
Springbank Distillery. You will be shown
how to nose and taste and also see how
cask selection can influence the final
product.
Student Accommodation
Students will be housed in a local Guest
House or B&B from Sunday to Friday (5
nights) on a dinner, bed and breakfast
basis. Where possible all Whisky School
students will be in the same lodgings.
Catering Packed lunches will be supplied
Monday to Thursday. On Friday there will
be a graduation lunch in the Tasting
Room before the end of term. Location
Accommodation is centrally located in
Campbeltown so students can explore the
town after class. Walk round the loch,
hire bikes to explore the surrounding
area or simply enjoy a pint in one of
the pubs in Burnside Square.
Terms & School Fees
The Springbank Whisky School will run
for 10 terms during 2008 with a maximum
of six student places each term. Term
dates are as follows: June: 2nd-6th,
9th-13th, 16th-20th, 23rd-27th.
September: 15th-19th, 22nd-26th.
September/October: 29th-3rd. October:
6th-10th, 13th-17th; 20th-27th.
Timetables
A detailed timetable will be provided on
Registration. Classes run Monday to
Thursday from 8am til 5pm. On Friday
morning students will sit a written exam
before being presented with their
Diploma. There will be a Graduation
lunch in The Tasting Room with some of
your Tutors before term finishes at 2pm
on Friday.
Cost £875 per person. Includes 5 nights
dinner, bed and breakfast at local Guest
House/ B&B, 4 packed lunches, graduation
lunch, all classes and Springbank work
wear. Cost of getting to Campbeltown is
NOT included.
www.springbankdistillers.com
Drams You Need To Try (if you haven’t
already)
Scotland
Glenfarclas 17: One of the very best
Speysides available today.
American
Parker’s Heritage Collection: One of the
best super premium bourbons on the
market today.
Irish
Michael Collins Blend: Very approachable
and just an easy dram. Don’t let the low
price and the screw cap fool you, this
is one great Irish Whiskey.
Upcoming Whisky Events
April
9th SMWS Australia Whisky 101 Class,
Part 2 Sydney
9th SMWS Atlanta, GA
13th SMWS Dallas, TX
25th Scotch Whisky Training School, The
Scotch Whisky Experience, Edinburgh
28th Whisky Live Strasbourg, France
May
5th SMWS Denver, Co
1st thr 5th Spirit of Speyside Festival,
Dufftown, Scotland
9th SMWS, NYC
10th Spirit of Toronto Festival,
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Cocktail of the
Week (PLEASE!!! just don’t use anything
too expensive)
Old-fashioned
1 sugar cube or 1 package of raw sugar
2-3 dashes Angostura bitters
2 orange slices
3 oz Jim Beam Black
maraschino cherry for garnish
Add bitters and sugar to a tall highball
glass. Add one orange slice and crush
into sugar and bitters. Fill the glass
with ice and add bourbon. Stir and
garnish with the second orange slice and
a cherry.
Link of the Week
www.chefhowerton.com
Chef Chris Howerton brings you recipes
and his own line of marinades from the
heart of Bourbon Country
Quote of the Week
"Always carry a large flagon of whisky
in case of snakebite and furthermore
always carry a small snake."
W.C. Fields
Picture of the
Week
Maker's Mark Distillery
Remember to always drink responsibly and
like what YOU like & how YOU like it.
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